She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize