its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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