a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
