I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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