Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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