I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
