She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
