gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
