it was like his penis was on wheels.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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