He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
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I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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