Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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