Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
