I only kidnapped one of them. chill
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
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Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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