Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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