hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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