sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
