he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize