what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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