This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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