Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
