Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
