who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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