Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
honey bunches of taint.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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