Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
