I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
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