Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
