Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
