yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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