jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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