just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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