Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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