I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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