im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize