Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
