so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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