I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
