haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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