$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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