dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
