Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
