I must be too annoying 4 u.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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