I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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