so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
