What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
