Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
