Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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