Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
