I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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