I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
