just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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