I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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