my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
