Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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