just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
