i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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