So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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