Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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