I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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